Everybody wants to be happy, but only few are brave enough to put in the work to be so. It’s not some magical feeling that finds its way to your life.
You need to be self aware in order to even begin to find happiness. It really starts with you. You need to get to know yourself, what you’re looking for, what you like, what you don’t like, things like that.
There’s a lot of learning involved before you can say you are truly happy. It’s a constant process, not some prized possession you leave in a trophy case.
Here are some of the things we need to let go because they hinder us from finding true happiness:
1) Others’ approval
Basing your life decisions on other people’s feelings about it is insane. You know that you can’t please everybody, you know that there will always be something someone won’t approve of or will displease them.
Why bother seeking comfort in others’ approval when it means sacrificing what would make you happy? That’s not comforting at all. That you have to give up what would make life better for you for people who aren’t going to live it for you.
Your life is yours alone. Live it according to you.
2) Pride
Nothing ever gets resolved with this. If you’re stubborn and refuse to believe you’re wrong, especially when you are, then you’re not helping yourself.
Part of growing, of evolving into the person you’re supposed to become is in knowing when you’re right, and knowing when you’re wrong.
If you know you’ve made a mistake, have the humility to admit it.
3) Expectations
Yes, the golden rule, treat others the way you would want them to treat you, is a good measure of how you should be, but it doesn’t guarantee that others will follow suit.
You can’t expect people to act and react the way you would given a particular situation. You can only hope that they do right by you, but if they don’t, you need to be the one to adjust accordingly.
4) Anger
Staying mad at people who have wronged you will only make you feel burdened. It’s going to weigh heavily on you, not them, if you don’t learn to let go of it.
Anger is consuming and if you don’t know how to handle it correctly, it can and it will take over your life–how you see things, how you feel about people, etc.
It’s always best to forgive people, even if you haven’t received an apology.
5) Idea of Perfection
Life isn’t perfect, people aren’t perfect, even the perfectly planned vacation isn’t always perfect.
Why insist on perfection when nothing really is?
Learn to recreate your definition of what perfect is, something that’s attainable. Like, a perfect day is getting to see at least one of your loved ones, or going home to your family, having a nice dinner, and sleeping on a comfortable bed.
Your definition of a perfect partner, a perfect life, is up to you. Make it count.
6) Greed
The quest for more could land you in a lot of trouble. Sometimes our lust for more power, more money, more danger, takes over reason and logic.
You need to ask yourself what’s driving your ‘need’ to want the things you want. You’d be surprised how little you actually need to live a happy life. Less is more.
7) Excuses
You will always find a reason to do something and not do something else.
Our reasoning depends on how much we want to do one thing.
Stop making excuses for why you’re not where you want to be, why you’re not doing what you’re passionate about, why you don’t have the body you dream of, etc.
If there’s a will, there’s usually a way.
8) Thoughts of the past
Staying stuck in the past could really hurt your chances of being happy now.
Stop thinking about your ex and what they did to you. They are out of your life for a reason, and one of them is so that you wouldn’t have to think about them anymore.
Stop thinking about friends who stabbed you in the back or pushed you down.
If they’re not part of your life anymore, then you’ve done yourself a favor.
That promotion you didn’t get last year, then try your best to get it this year. That vacation you couldn’t afford, book it now. Move up and move on.
9) Insecurities
There will always be people better than you. There will always be someone better looking, more hardworking, sexier, more intelligent, and the list is endless.
But it doesn’t matter.
You need to be enough for yourself, in your own eyes.
Most of the time, your loved ones already know that you don’t need to be more for them to love and accept you. You need to see yourself through those eyes from time to time.
10) Control
By now you already know that as much as you like planning things to the detail, there is a very real chance that they won’t be followed.
Life is more than the things we plan.
The spontaneous things, the ones that surprise us are the ones that really make us feel alive.
Also, attempting to control how others see you or how they feel about you is a futile effort. The best you can do is make yourself the kind of person that you want to be and the right people will love you for exactly that.
Control is good for certain things, but it’s not something you should attempt to do all the time and get anxious about when things don’t go your way. Learn to let things happen as they will.
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